I feel that I truly am stuck in some sot of limbo. I can't concentrate, I'm only getting by, I'm being such a wreck. And I can't seem to figure out why. It's been a rollercoater of sorts, this semester... And it's really having such a profound negative effect on my ego. I'm disoriented, confused, wanting to escape everything for just a few moments to catch my breath... Heck, even my sentences have lost all coherence. Geez, I'm such a mess.
Let me explain: this semester, I was confronted with the truth that is I'm a fourth year college student. I'm graduating. That fact seems to hit me in every single way imaginable, from the thesis methodology taped to my closet door, to the graduation pictures pending photoshop in the studio. Gah. I don't want to graduate, and yet at the same time, I do. This semester, I officially became president of for the only organization I ever stuck with, OMAKE. Sure, I've been acting as proxy-to-most-other-officers as a senior member and head of the events division last year, but well... It's kinda weird thinking about it. Back then, I was some horizontally-challenged (and in some respects, still am, I'm afraid) kid wearing a bucket hat and a polo that made him look more horizaontally challenged than he really was, having bad posture running around campus trying to locate the damned examiners who decided throwing dice and designing rollercoasters and picking guitar picks with chopsticks were good ideas. Then those aforementioned examiners became the greatest friends I ever had. Lost a lot of weight, gained a lot of experience, cosplayed, taught japanese, served coffee, all with them. Now All but one of them's gone, and I've inherited the org. Nice going, Bernard. This semester also saw the rise of the OMG-This-subject-is-too-big-for-one-prof craze in our curriculum. SERIOUSLY. Why are the subjects team-teached beyond reason? For some reason, a subject changing profs was kinda like changing semesters already. My reference being Biochem 124 which was like pure mathematical mindcrap for three-fourths of it, while the next was proteins proteins proteins OMG more proteins in the next. Not that I'm complaining... It just made the sem shorter for me. I need longer semesters... That way the profs don't need to cram lessons, and exams wouldn't be piling up every other week, and I don't have to write papers until 5AM. Not that I'm complaining, though. Most of the past four years has been like this... But, I miss Second Year for some reason (ah, the days when I had Physics 71, Chem 18, and Chem 31 in rapid succession in one day AT THE SAME ROOM). Amusing that it took me weeks to figure out that I never switched rooms during Mondays and Thursdays. Oh, and crap... the realization that I'm graduating suddenly hit me again.
Ah well... It's the middle of the night and I'm writing this asinine nonsense while my head replays what it remembers of James Cameron's Avatar for some reason. I need to get some sleep... I have Inorganic Chemistry later. XD