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Existencially Fallacious
I'm begging the question here...
Recent Entries 
29th-Dec-2009 01:56 pm - Seriously.
Lloyd: In-Your-Face
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DO NOT READCollapse )
26th-Dec-2009 03:50 pm - HeartQuake.
syaoran: for the sake of two futures
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WARNING: the following post is a rare example of me being dead serious about a topic. It contains none of my usual amusing sarcasm (not that anyone found it amusing in the first place), and instead it is simple me pouring my heart out on an issue that I will otherwise keep to myself, but can't. Be forewarned: The following contains extreme cheesiness comparable to that crap that is Twilight.
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25th-Dec-2009 06:45 pm - A Merry Christmas to everyone!~
lloyd: yay
It would seem that this might very well be the second of just two posts this month, primarily because of that condition with which my thoughts on the train immediately dissolve the moment I reach a computer to type away and do so. Maybe I should post more, since those ideas are just pure gold. :D

Ahem... going back to the topic, I know it's a little late (not with the holiday ending in approximately 5 hours), but to augment last night's plurk entry and my massive text message to everyone I dare send a message to, Merry Christmas to Everyone!~ (and if there are any Jews in my f-list I'd like to greet them a happy hanukkah, if I'm not too late. LOL).

I was actually planning to rant on about how some people would regard Christmas as a useless holiday bent on just economic profit, but that'll just drown the holiday spirit. Given that its roots go deeper than the gift-giving and spending: it fulfills a deeply religious purpose for Christians around the world (except some denominations, I hear). And this may be something that the culture of Santa Claus and Staunch Capitalism may have buried, and something most people overlook. I know I may be sounding like a religious zealot, but this year, I found the real meaning of Christmas joy through church, so yeah... Which may be I managed to be really happy despite the fact that it's Christmas and my father's gone. It's a shame I didn't complete the Christmas Novena, though. Maybe next year. :D

Most posts will be saying what they are thankful for, but the year is not yet over. I'll save that for my year-ender (which may be an excuse to post a little more this month, haha)

A Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
2nd-Dec-2009 05:26 am - Early December Rant
himawata
It's December 2nd. On any normal year I would already be on high alert because my birthday is drawing near. But this year, I have to keep reminding myself that I am nearing nineteen. I don't know why... But the excitement is not there. I dread this December for some reason. For some reason I wanted it to stay November, but some things just can't be taken the way I would will it. Kinda makes me wish I'm some sort of Suzumiya Haruhi.

It's the lack of decorations that's killing my mood. It has become my personal tradition to push for early decorating of the house in time for the holidays. But with my father's passing, another tradition has come to take its place: mourning. Only now have I realized that the traditions around death are pretty much as absurd as all the "what-the-elders-say" that comprises the sortof dogma that is at the core of this country's culture. But absurd and irrational it may seem (to the point that you're actually encouraging people to become depressed when somebody dies. As per usual, I feel nothing. Not even a hint of sadness on the fact that this is probably the first of many birthdays in the absence of my father. But at least, we could have put the decorations up... I know Dad would have liked it.

Emotion clouds rational judgement. And I don't think I can put my rational mind into high gear as long as I fantasize that all is good in my world. At least, not until the realization that these are mere fantasies still kick me. I need to set my plans into fruition...To turn these dreams into reality, as some crimson pain fanatic would say.But it's gonna take a while until they do: favorably or otherwise. As such, I highly doubt I'd do well on my studies and other matters before the holidays begin. It sucks, I know. But I'm still human, I guess. As much as I try to be the voice of logic and reason, I am still bound by emotion. (Do not Hesitate to disregard this last paragraph. I know I'm the only one who knows what I'm talking about here... The detail have been censored for many reasons... Because they include the names of people whose opinion of me is of paramount importance to my plans)

On a happier note, Amidst my apparent disbelief that I am shortly due to be nineteen, I plan on another little get-together... Although, some of the people I wish to be there might not be able to make it... So I ask you: what do you reckon I do this saturday? Skating and Bowling have already been done by my friends this year, Lunch is a bit bland and awkward... And movies? what are we gonna watch? That 2012 crap? NEW MOON? Plus, I'm not really big on the silver screen.

I got an advance on my birthday present: a shiny new desktop. It's still incomplete, though... Missing software. But it's a dual core. LOL XD. And since I'm already expecting someone to comment on my lack of appreciation, *cough*sister*cough cough* THANK YOU. SO MUCH. :D

Well, decorations may be limited to christmas-y pillows and that freaky Baby Jesus where my Father's shrine used to be (the one whom I christened "Baby Bro", which would be funny if you watch May Bukas Pa)... I guess I'll teach myself to be content.


16th-Nov-2009 09:01 pm - Third Day + Kobato + Random Stuff
lloyd: yay
Just found out this morning that May takes the same train as I do (and it only took me two bump-ins with her t the station to find out.. Really great, Bernard). She said she didn't notice me at the station where I got on. Yeah... Because we all look for our classmates in train stations expecting them to be there. Real nice. LOL.
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Watched the first episode of Kobato. And it gives credence to the fact that I'l probably watch an anime, no matter how stupid I'll think otherwise, if CLAMP had something to do with it. Seriously. The first nineteen seconds was pure amazingness (and no, that word doesn't exist). The opening song, although cheesy, was pretty good. And the story was pretty true to the manga (oh yeah, I just read like, two chapters of it). I am so tempted to cosplay Fujimoto because he's megane bishie like that. But gah! His hair! X____x. All in all, if I didn't know Kobato was done by CLAMP (and what kind of a CLAMP fan I would be if that happened), I don't think I'd appreciate it as much.

Hmmm... looks like I'm getting my Itoshiki costume from the tailor on Friday. (LOL, Tailor Swift XD)

I think my Japanese is getting better. I mean, I can almost already translate snippets of phrases from Kobato without looking at the subtitles. It takes me a while though, and they need to talk really slowly. LOL. I fail, and to top that off, the JLPT is just around the corner (haven't studied yet~). Maybe next year... I'll aim for an N3 (intermediate between JLPT 3 and JLPT 2). and since I should be working on my thesis by that time (hopefully), I've got lots of time to study.

My drawings are improving too. I mean, they're no longer all flat and stuff. They have more depth for some reason. And I clearly enjoy foreshortening (most of my drawings all have foreshortening, LOL). But I can't seem to revive the expressive eyes from the days I started taking art seriously. Ah well... Mankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return, I suppose.

I feel at ease. After quite literally months of emotional turmoil, I get a chance to breathe a sigh of relief. The fact that I tasted a bit of normalcy after so long, wondering if I had done something unspeakably horrible... turns out I didn't, but I don't think this would continue for long. But at least most of the tension is gone.

I applaud those who are in this part of the post after reading the mindboggling (or should I say, mindblogging) enormity of this entry... I applaud those who understood the last paragraph even more. XD</div>
16th-Nov-2009 07:43 am - Third Day + Kobato + Random XD
himawata
Just found out this morning that May takes the same train as I do (and it only took me two bump-ins with her t the station to find out.. Really great, Bernard). She said she didn't notice me at the station where I got on. Yeah... Because we all look for our classmates in train stations expecting them to be there. Real nice. LOL.

Went to Chem 157.1. One of the laboratories is still a construction zone, and as Maray pointed out, it could be an excuse to use the air conditioned laboratory at GAB to use for Biochem 121.1. But I highly doubt that. Anyway, turns out I'm lab partners with Paul this sem. I don't mind, besides, having an obsessive-compulsive with you in the lab kinda make things easier... sortof (no offense, Paul XD). So Sir Li, after much making up a Paul X Bernard (LOL UKE) issue and ridiculing my 157 advanced notes, dismissed us after like, an hour and a half. The class was supposed to be six hours long... OMG, that meant, Super free time is now.

During the super free time, I resorted to holing up at the library trying to improve the ridiculed Chem 157 advanced notes. Seriously though, I question the need to even make advanced notes. Maybe I should just read Laidler or Atkins in advance. After all, all I'm after is a bit of an edge. I managed to understand Gibbs Phase rule and One-component phase diagrams... It took a while to get the latter, and two-component phase diagrams were a different thing altogether. I'll read into that a little bit later.

I had lunch with Jamil and Ming. Things are pretty much the same with those two. Albeit I'm too much distracted to think straight while interacting with them (because compared to physical chemistry, voice... err, I mean, acting logical in a situation that requires a sound mind without distraction from a speaker going NOBODY NOBODY BUT YOU~ on loop at full blast is way harder).

Chem 151 was a doozy. We enter the world of exotic-chemistry-you-can't-believe-really-has-an-explanation. Seriously. The book Dr. Billones showed us had no pictures, had walls of text, and had giant integration signs. Let me repeat that: GINAT. INTEGRATION. SIGNS. Gah, why do you exist? It's a leap out of the chemistry I know and love... But you know, I vowed all my grades to be through the roof this semester, and I won't let some integration signs and schrodinger equations and any of those quantum crap stop me.

Biochem 121 looks okay for now... I don't think it'll entail any hardcore chemistry like my other subjects (come to think of it, chem 157 and Biochem 131 are my only hardcore chem subjects I have)... But still, I have to be prepared.

Watched the first episode of Kobato. And it gives credence to the fact that I'l probably watch an anime, no matter how stupid I'll think otherwise, if CLAMP had something to do with it. Seriously. The first nineteen seconds was pure amazingness (and no, that word doesn't exist). The opening song, although cheesy, was pretty good. And the story was pretty true to the manga (oh yeah, I just read like, two chapters of it). I am so tempted to cosplay Fujimoto because he's megane bishie like that. But gah! His hair! X____x. All in all, if I didn't know Kobato was done by CLAMP (and what kind of a CLAMP fan I would be if that happened), I don't think I'd appreciate it as much.

Hmmm... looks like I'm getting my Itoshiki costume from the tailor on Friday. (LOL, Tailor Swift XD)

I think my Japanese is getting better. I mean, I can almost already translate snippets of phrases from Kobato without looking at the subtitles. It takes me a while though, and they need to talk really slowly. LOL. I fail, and to top that off, the JLPT is just around the corner (haven't studied yet~). Maybe next year... I'll aim for an N3 (intermediate between JLPT 3 and JLPT 2). and since I should be working on my thesis by that time (hopefully), I've got lots of time to study.

My drawings are improving too. I mean, they're no longer all flat and stuff. They have more depth for some reason. And I clearly enjoy foreshortening (most of my drawings all have foreshortening, LOL). But I can't seem to revive the expressive eyes from the days I started taking art seriously. Ah well... Mankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return, I suppose.

I feel at ease. After quite literally months of emotional turmoil, I get a chance to breathe a sigh of relief. The fact that I tasted a bit of normalcy after so long, wondering if I had done something unspeakably horrible... turns out I didn't, but I don't think this would continue for long. But at least most of the tension is gone.

I applaud those who are in this part of the post after reading the mindboggling (or should I say, mindblogging) enormity of this entry... I applaud those who understood the last paragraph even more. XD

himawata
So today was the start of the new semester. A semester fraught with chemistry and its biological cousin, added with a dash of communications and PE just to make sure I'm a regular come fourth year. (My adviser event went "are you sure?" while looking at my subjects. Yeah. Toxicity levels are sure to be high.

The above showcases my form 5. Notice the sheer amount of chemistry I'm faced with? Ha! I laugh in the face of chemistry! I shall go through this semester and be victorious! (or at least, that's the plan)

Now onto the rant:

The first thing to escape my lips was "Shit. I have classes today." Apparently my pessimism impressed even myself. Little did I know that I was in a reverse-prophetic phase, a phase in which whatever I say or think reflects the EXACT OPPOSITE of the future. It's a cool power... But it's also a curse.

(man you can cut my sarcasm with a knife!)

So I went to school at around 9:50 to find the chemistry wing of the third floor turned into a construction site. Apparently, the University has impeccable timing and decided to upgrade the labs... DURING a semester. Huzzah. Now we will conduct our lab exercises next to workers laying tiles. It's the ultimate clash between the bourgeois and the laborers! All hail the revolution! All... cut the crap. Point is, there were three available rooms, and the room reserved for the class was being renovated and such.. So in short, no classes.

Which then left me with three hours o do nothing except wait for the next class. Which, as it turns out, is being taught by Dr. Billones. Who will start classes next week. Oh joy. That meant that the next class will be at 4, which, following this slippery slope of the universe conspiring against classes starting today, would probably end in a no-show.

...No-show it was. Our professor already went home came class time. Geez, why am I not surprised?

15th-Oct-2009 10:46 pm - If there's one thing I hate...
himawata
 ...I choose not to hate anything. I choose to dislike things. Like boiled pork for instance. But if I were to hate something, something with so much undying spite that people may soon spite me too because of this resentment, it would have to be dogs.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I hate dogs. And I don't give a freaking damn what other people have to say about that.

It probably stemmed from the fact that when I was a toddler, we had this (at that time to me, at least) scary-as-hell dog which would bark at me when I so much stepped in front of her (again, at that time) imposing self to do something remarkably trivial like get my slippers.

But now I justified the reason I don't like them: they smell, they're noisy, they drool all over the place (not to mention lick you: eew), not to mention they bite.

And yes, ladies and gentlemen, I was bitten by a dog. You see I was (and currently am) in the kitchen using the laptop and below me was (and currently is, D:) my sister's dog. I don't know what happened next. My sister says I must have kicked him or something, but I reckon it's me actually trying to put my legs on the floor (he sleeps under the dining table so getting your feet in a comfortable position on the floor without earning a growl is an effort), and the whole thing was like something out of pokemon...

Dog used growl! Bernard's defense fell!
Dog used bite! It's super effective! critical Hit! Bernard is bleeding!

So after he omnomnomed me, my mom and my sister was like, "what the?", "when the?", "who the?" and I earned myself a trip to Makati medical center and RITM. I got a tetanus booster shot at Makati Medical Center (having had a tetanus serum shot three years prior thanks to a certain Percival Byron S. Bueser) at ONE IN THE MORNING. I was being scheduled to have the anti-rabies and Immunoglobulin (LOL IMMUNOBIOCHEM) shot at RITM the next day. Scheds needed to be redone, and all that crap. Plus, I have trauma on going to the hospital at night. It reminds me of my Father's last hours (which could be worse, since my mom seems to have trauma with hospitals. period).

Fortunately, my sister had the DRIVE TO GOOGLE. She looked up UP-PGH's anti-rabies unit, since I kept suggesting it (much to the chagrin of the folks who think PGH is well... PGH). So me and my mom went to the ARU instead. to recieve five shots. let me repeat that: RECIEVE FIVE SHOTS.  three of which (including one near the bite itself) was subcutaneous. and two were intramuscular. Let me repeat that because I can: TWO WERE INTRAMUSCULAR. It was a long-ass needle. It was 16.5mL of immunoglobulin. And they poked it down my thighs.

...It hurt like hell. And things rarely hurt me.

...freaking ouch.

But the greatest comedy story might be at the cashier. you see, the guard there told my mom to get at the back of the line, and this, being the public hospital that it is, had a longer-than-perhaps-the-needle-they-used line. And by the time my mom was quite literally inches from the window, the same guard recognized my student ID. And he was like "Oh LOL. There's an express lane for UP Students right over thar".

OTL. Epicfail.

... yeah. Any questions?




...oh, and by the way, I'm not allowed to eat eggs, chicken and/or fish for the next two weeks.
13th-Sep-2009 09:08 pm - Convention Report: Cosmania '09
Nozomu: despair
 Convention: Cosplay Mania '09
Location: where else? SM Megamal Megatrade Hall 2-3
Went as: Shimura Shinpachi (for like, the third time now)
Status: Not as fail as I anticipated, but I would've really liked it if I wore something else.

I woke up at 6 due to a what a string of text messages, one of which coming from Satori, saying she's off the megamall to get to work. Then there was a couple of people basically talking about the details of the upcoming con. Nagi was asking if  could be part of a case study on cosplayers her friend was doing... And I, the ever-so-generous "Kisa of the Chrysanthemum", obliged, seeing as I have ben the subject of cosplay-related studies before (and they ask all the same questions, LOL). Maya was giving a default meeting place in case somebody had the actual nerve to arrive at 10 AM.

But the fates seemed against me as it rained non-stop. Or at least, looked like it did. Remember: in our house: rain is multiplied tenfold due to the innovative architecture. My mom said she wouldn't let me go if it rained any harder. And it didn't. And I was allowed to go. LOL.

I took a cab to SM megamall, nd started looking for Maya. But Maya was waiting for Touya. And after quite literally 30 MINUTES of waiting for the two of them, they arrived ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE WALL I WAS IN. Okay, fine. That's excusable. So when we reached the fifth floor, we found Uo trying to get into magpie mode in getting the coveted stairwell (and in the end, we ended up SHARING the stairwell with other people).

I got dressed. And that's when I realized a very harsh reality: Without Sakata Gintoki, Shimura Shinpachi IS NOTHING. Seriously, I looked like random-guy-dressed-in-blue kimono to the major populace. Just goes to show how obscure Gintama is compared to Bleach, Narutoe, VK, Reborn, Haruhi, Deathnote, Rurouni Kenshin, Soul Eater..*ad infinitum*, you get the point.

So Raki finally arrived, then Rue, then they got dressed, and Maya got dressed, and we were sum sort of formidable Gintama group.. Well, not really. At least we got hold of a Kagura, oh, and there was a wall of photoraphers or two. I love walls of photographers. They're so... wall-e. (OMG did I just say that?)

And yes, the day went on as usual...

I was about about to go home, so I wrapped up things inside (actually, I was looking for Jen because I wanted to hatch an idea to her. But her wigged-wigginess was nowhere to be found... and I sneaked in too!). Then I found Han being mobbed by not a wall, but a veritable BARRIER of Photographers. Note to self: start fearing ToraDora, it's powers are beyond omprehension. Then, we found M, and the other OMAKE people... And just when I thought that the walls would end, we went to the photowall (cue instant fanboy photographers!). I'll post the pictures I took on the regular place I put them (if you're looking at this through multiply, it's probably below this text). The photowall pictures, I'll upload later, since I forgot the URL.

I'll now start on my suitcse.. and my noose. If that (and if you're using LJ, another glaring clue is right here) doesn't give you enough clues as to what my next cosplan is, you don't watch enough anime. LOL.




12th-Sep-2009 08:36 am(no subject)
himawata

It's early saturday, and I'm already on the computer instead of doing chores. >_<. Well, technically, I shouldn't even be here but comsci 110 LAB was canceled due to circumstances I don't know about. But I think the comsci 110 LEC exam isn't postponed (and I damn hope it doesn't. Even if I don't know how I'll manage to pass this time, considering the extreme complexity of LINKED LISTS FTW, I just want it to be over with).

Lately, I've been noticing something alarming:There are a lot of grumpy old men in the world. seriously. I know it's trivial, and obvious and i guess I should understand, but the reality is, I don't. Their grumpiness becomes hilarious and even pitiful at times. They just don't see misgivings of other people to be tolerable, in my opinion. I mean, it would do them better to just calmly go on without having to snap at the next person who doesn't behave ideally, intentionally or otherwise.


ilustrative example

I don't particularly understand why I am required to take up computer science subjects if I am a chemistry major. I mean, I know that it will help my thesis is I'm going to use computers to structurally model a certain compound and perform tests in silico, but to HAVE TO understand how to program (and using a language like C, at that, which basically was THE language since highschool), is mainly to be seen as a bit overboard. Really. And the second exam is later (I'm not having a lot of trouble with the subject though, since I already know how to code since highschool), and yet, I don't feel compelled to study, even if linked lists are freaking hard to understand.


Ah well.
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